Soccer AM

Soccer AM
Starring Jane Hoffen (1995)
Russ Williams (1995–96)
Gary A. Stevens (1995–96)
Helen Chamberlain (1995–present)
Tim Lovejoy (1996–2007)
Andy Goldstein (2007–08)
Max Rushden (2008–2015)
John Fendley (2015-present)
Country of origin United Kingdom
Original language(s) English
Production
Running time 240 minutes (1995–2001)
180 minutes (2001–2010)
120 minutes (2010–2016)
90 minutes (2016-present)
Release
Original network Sky Sports
Picture format 4:3 (1995–2002)
16:9 (2002–present)
Original release 1995 (1995) – present
External links
Website

Soccer AM is a British Saturday-morning football-based comedy/talk show, predominantly based around the Premier League (though also showing clips from The Football League, Scottish Premiership and some European leagues). Originally presented by Jane Hoffen, Gary A. Stevens and Russ Williams, they lasted just a year before Helen Chamberlain and Tim Lovejoy replaced them, where Lovejoy served for over a decade. He has since been replaced by Andy Goldstein and, more recently, Max Rushden who has now been replaced by John Fendley. The show has been aired on Sky Sports 1 each Saturday morning of the football season since 1995 from 7:00am or 9:00am to noon originally and currently between 10:00am and 12:00pm. In early 2009, the 500th episode was broadcast. Although the show is filmed live from 2010 it has been broadcast on a momentary delay due to bad language and/or inappropriate content from certain guests.

The show's 2015-16 sponsor is Toolstation, part of the Travis Perkins Group. Previously the show was sponsored by Procter & Gamble through their Head & Shoulders brand. Other past sponsors have included The Sun (United Kingdom) newspaper, Brylcreem and Yorkie (chocolate bar), as well as FRijj, a brand of milkshake, after Dairy Crest signed a £2 million sponsorship deal.[1]

Parts of the show have remained since the beginning, whilst new items have been introduced each season. In that respect, it is almost the same every week, the difference being new football footage and comedy skits. Every week sees a new group of celebrity guests, generally featuring at least one footballer who is free on the Saturday, and a mix of musicians, TV personalities, and other sportsmen.

From the 2016/17 season the show changed its running time to just 90 minutes and cutting well known segments out of the show such as the fans of the week.

Crew

Current

List of crew members and jobs/characters:

Former

Fans of the Week

The "Fans of the Week" feature has been a mainstay of the show. Eight fans of a British football club come in as studio guests every week, seated in the "Luther Blissett Stand". The Luther Blissett Stand was opened by Chris Waddle on 20th December, 1997. Everton fans were the first fans to sit in the newly renamed stand. They are featured in various aspects of the show, culminating in a team footballing challenge at the end of the programme.

The Car Park Game

The challenge involves the fans attempting to kick a football through a number of holes within the sixty second time limit. The challenge has been renamed almost every season, along with the props and background music for the feature. The other studio guests all have the opportunity to attempt to score as well. Its various guises through the years include:

Soccerette

The Soccer AM Soccerette was a feature of the show for several years. A young female modelling a Soccer AM T-shirt, which was redesigned each season acted as a competition prize. Viewers can win the T-shirt by guessing the number of goals scored by the "Fans of the Week" in their team challenge later in the show. The Soccerette was introduced by the male presenter and was asked a series of questions that almost inevitably led into premeditated gags and innuendo.

The Soccerette was asked about her marital status, which results in rampant cheers if "single", and boos if the Soccerette "has a boyfriend" or "married" (although the latter was fairly rare), and a crew member would run on without a shirt and react. Former host Tim Lovejoy used to declare that the Soccerette's relationship will "never last", regardless of how long they had been together.

Famous Soccerettes have included Sky Sports News Natalie Sawyer, Hollyoaks Jennifer Metcalfe, Lucy Pinder and Big Brother's Louise Cliffe. This section ceased after complaints about its outdated attitudes.[2]

At the beginning of the 2009 season, a new game was revealed. Rushden Roulette consists of Max Rushden spinning a wheel, while Cheryl Mole stands by, and the fan and the soccerette answering questions. The winner of Rushden Roulette is asked to do 'The Lap of Onuoha' which involves the winner (not always the Soccerette) to sitting on the lap of a lifesized cutout of Nedum Onuoha's. Just as she sits down, the deep voice of an African-American soul singer saying 'Yaaaaaaaa.....'.On several occasions, the wheel has been stopped and tampered with to suit whatever is planned out beforehand or just for fun.

Footballing features

Unbelievable Tekkers

See also: Andy Ansah

Unbelievable Tekkers is a segment featuring a clip of football action from the past week, usually the best goal or piece of skill of the week. The phrase was apparently first used by Andy Ansah on Wayne Rooney's Street Striker, with the word "tekkers" meaning "technique". The introduction goes "Some tekkers are good..." (with clip of a great Wayne Rooney overhead kick), "Some tekkers are bad..." (with clip of David Dunn miskicking and falling over) "but some tekkers..." (Andy Ansah clip) "Unbelievable Tekkers!" The 2010-11 season Soccer AM T-shirt also featured this phrase

Nutmeg Files

A nutmeg is the term applied when a player plays the ball between his opponent's legs and regains control of the ball after going round him. Another ever-present feature of the show, the weekly edition of "The Nutmeg Files" shows a clip from the previous week's football matches of a player being nutmegged, while the "nutmegger" is superimposed shouting "NUTS!", "¡Caňo!" (Brazil/Portugal), "Tunnel" (Italy) and "Petit Pont" (France), depending on which country the "nutmegger" is from. This feature is (very loosely) based on The Rockford Files.

Big Tackle

Big Tackle is a feature that shows a hard, but well-timed tackle from the previous week, but there are no fouls shown. The clip of the tackle is played with soothing music, with a smooth French accent talking over it. The feature begins with the French person saying 'Big Tackle. Sponsored by Claude Makélélé. Featuring... (the name of the "tackler").' When the tackle happens, a smooth "Oooh la laaaaaaaa!" i TEKKERSs said by the French person.

Kung Fu Academy

Kung Fu Academy, by contrast to Big Tackle, shows a particularly grievous foul that would likely result in an injury and/or a card. The feature is introduced as the perpetrator's team's 'Kung Fu Academy' and the foul is shown and replayed twice (for emphasis), accompanied by stock Martial Arts movie music and special effects.

Third Eye

Third Eye has been a feature of the show from its outset, and involves viewers sending in often-comical mishaps from the television (generally football matches) that may well have been missed by the majority of the viewing audience. These typically involve people falling over or being caught doing something stupid. A classic was a Mancunian woman trying to take pictures on her camera, realising half an hour later that the lens cap was on, or a Grimsby ball boy calmly heading the ball back into play whilst slouched on his seat (the boy later appeared as a 'Stranger On The Sofa'), or one where, during a match, Liverpool's John Arne Riise fell victim to the schoolboy empty chewing gum prank whilst sitting on the subs bench.

Jimmy Bullard has also made a few choice appearances in this feature, especially his goal mouth leapfrog incident. Another infamous Third Eye incident was Manchester United Assistant Manager Mike Phelan bursting a balloon in the dugout, frightening Sir Alex Ferguson and causing him to swear. Another favourite one was when a Chelsea mascot went to shake hands with Steven Gerrard, but went on to wave his hands away and shake it in front of his nose.

Taxi

The feature Taxi!, accompanied by the theme tune of the US sitcom, consists of yet more clips from the previous week's live football. The clips chosen are typically embarrassing displays of showboating gone wrong. The embarrassed player's name is then suffixed to the voice-over phrase "TAXI FOR...". Concluding with the quote "Taxi is filmed in front of a live stadium audience."

The male presenter (currently Max) and Helen highlight several embarrassing moments from the previous week's football, the worst comes last and is usually introduced with:

Max: "It's time for a trip to (stadium)".
Helen: "Taxi for (name)!"

Team Mates

Team Mates is the section at the end of the show where a player from a football team, is given questions, which they respond by telling which team mate, is more related to the question. The questions are as followed:

I love football

Each week either a current or ex footballer will answer a series of questions related to football, such as "I love football fans because", My favourite piece of memorabillia was", "My footballing hero was". The list of names that have taken part in this so far include Wayne Rooney, Pelé, David Bentley, Nemanja Vidić, Gary McAllister, Ian Holloway, Emmanuel Eboué, Joleon Lescott, Deco, and Rio Ferdinand. The song played in the background of this feature is "Watch Me Fall Apart" by Hard-Fi.

The Crossbar Challenge

"The Crossbar Challenge" is a feature that Mark Oliveira added to the show, and involves a weekly trip to the training ground of a British league football team. The entire squad, including willing coaching staff and managers, are filmed, one-by-one, introducing themselves and attempting to hit the crossbar of the goal from the halfway line. The feat is rarely accomplished - the majority of squads fail to hit the bar once. However, a successful strike generally provokes manic celebrations by the kicker and his team-mates. The original background music is the instrumental "Seventeen Years" by Ratatat but this was changed to "Smiling" by The Beta Band.

The current record is held by Wolverhampton Wanderers who hit the crossbar four times on 25 April 2009, beating the previous record of three set by Northampton Town, Hereford United and inaugural three time crossbar hitters Doncaster Rovers.

The current player record is held by Graham Stack who has hit the bar three times for three different clubs (Wolves, Plymouth and Millwall).

Soccer AM aim to, at some point, visit every team in the league, although this is likely to prove very difficult as clubs such as Manchester United are unwilling to allow players onto shows such as these. However, other clubs like Chelsea, Manchester City (Christmas special) and Tottenham Hotspur have appeared in the past (Arsenal appeared on a French show that had copied the challenge). Players who appear as guests on "The Orange Sofa" are always shown their attempt at the challenge if it is one of the many on the database.

The first manager to actually hit the bar is former Huddersfield Town Manager Andy Ritchie. Former Wolves manager Mick McCarthy's shot hit the crossbar and then bounced off and struck the up-right when Wolves took part in the challenge. This feat has never been repeated.

Steffen Freund's ARBEIT! Of The Week

Introduced by David Ginola laughing about his former Tottenham team-mate, this feature shows a player (or series of players) missing a tackle but working hard to catch up with his mark for a second - and successful - attempt, followed by David's cry of "ARBEIT!".

The highlight of the feature so far is (almost) the whole Chelsea squad defending against Barcelona in the 2011/12 Champions League Semi-final 2nd leg at Camp Nou.

Skill Skool

A pre-recorded section where two members of a football team – usually a youth/academy side – pits their wits against each in showing off their best individual skills with the football. It involves a different side each week Rocket presents this part with the two opponents, surrounded by their team-mates, and with the appropriate drum and bass backing tune of "Don't Wanna Know" by Shy FX and T-Power. He begins by saying to the footballers (named Joe and Bob for example):

"Joe, Bob, Welcome to Skill Skool. You know the rules, three rounds, best skill wins. Let's get the lesson on!"

Sublime individual skills are shown by each competitor while being egged on by their team-mates. After each have completed 3 rounds, Rocket says:

"Joe/Bob, good skills. But there's only one winner.... Guys, give it up for Joe (cue cheering and applause). Give it up for Bob (bigger/lesser cheering and applause) Bob, you're the Skill Skool winner. Skills!"

Rocket proceeds to thrust the ball into the midrift of the winner, while the team-mates usually mob and even sometimes perform some prank.

In season 2008–09, the section has strayed away from youth sides to include different competitors. Young children from Africa (when Rocket visited a region to deliver football shirts to under privileged areas) were seen showing their undoubted abilities, and also when Chelsea Ladies were celebrating by bundling the winner to the ground, Rocket (in a comical attempt of male opportunity) joined in celebrations by diving on top of the ladies midway through celebrations. The only time when Rocket has not presented was when he took on Tubes (in which tubes won and the rest of the crew jokingly mimicked the normal crowd)instead Trev dressed in a Battenburg costume took his place

Skill School has very much altered in many peoples opinions as it has become a good and entertaining thing to a burnt out flame in the Soccer AM programme, just as/like Crossbar Challenge is/was.

My Favourite Goal

A famous footballer is asked to name his three favourite goals throughout his career so far, and the choices are played (in reverse order) at various stages throughout the show. Notable appearances have included Thierry Henry, Wayne Rooney, David Beckham, and Ryan Giggs. Ruud van Nistelrooy in this section was only asked to pick his top three favourite goals for Manchester United. The song used during the older version of 'My Favourite Goal' is "Strange and Beautiful (I'll Put a Spell on You)" by Aqualung.

Terry V. Terry Shield

Introduced during the 2004–05 season, "the most important goals competition in football" as Soccer AM like to put it, focuses on the goalscoring form of Chelsea and former England captain John Terry and his older brother Paul, who is now retired. The winner would be the player who scored the most in a season.

Hunt V. Hunt Shield

Introduced for the 2009–10 season, focusing on the scoring of Irish internationals Wolves midfielder Stephen Hunt and Reading striker Noel Hunt.

Ferdinand Vs Ferdinand III

This features the two Ferdinand brothers – Manchester United centre back Rio and younger brother Anton of Queens Park Rangers – going head to head to see who can score the most goals in a premier league season. Only league goals count and whoever scores the most in the season will win the title of Ferdinand Vs Ferdinand, currently Rio has won all three seasons. There is now also a Wright-Phillips vs. Wright-Phillips, featuring Charlton striker Bradley and older brother Shaun of Queens Park Rangers and Caldwell Vs Caldwell between Birmingham player Steven and brother Gary of Wigan

Golden Shoe/Espadrille

Soccer AM's own goalscoring competition, the "Golden Shoe" is the show's light tug on the Golden Boot award given to the top scorer in a league or competition. This competition is based on a goals-to-game ratio. Only league goals count and a player has to have played in at least half of their team's league games to be in with a chance of winning the shoe. The Golden Shoe is open to every player in the English Premier League, the Football League and the Scottish Premier League.

The "Golden Espadrille" is the European equivalent to the Golden Shoe. The same rules apply, and the only real difference is that it is open to the English Premier League, the Scottish Premier League, Spanish La Liga and Italian Serie A players.

Atlético Madrid's Diego Forlán is the new current holder of the Golden Espadrille.[3]

Golden Glove

Similar to the above but for goalkeepers in a Clean Sheets-to-games ratio, subject to the same restrictions as the golden shoe (only English Premier League, English football League and SPL players are eligible and must have played at least half their teams games and only league clean sheets count)

100 Greatest Goals

The 100 Greatest Goals from the Games that Nobody Remembers except our Panel of Talking Heads was introduced in 2006–07 as a sarcastic take off of the many "100 best..." countdown shows on TV. A piece of unremarkable football action is used, typically a scrappy goal from a lower division game in the 1990s, which is analysed in the same way as these shows tend to do, with the action interspersed with different experts views of it. Jamie Redknapp, Chris Kamara, Jeff Stelling, and Matt Le Tissier are a few of the people who enthusiastically talk about the goal as if it were the most amazing goal ever scored.

I Want to Be Like Bas

After seeing the on-pitch antics of at the time, ex Brighton & Hove Albion player Bas Savage, namely his moonwalk celebrations after scoring a goal, a feature called "I Want to Be Like Bas" was introduced in the 2006–07 season. If Savage scores in a game previous to the showing of Soccer AM, his goal and celebration is shown to the music of Michael Jackson's "Smooth Criminal", as the video also features moonwalking.

Celebration Steve's £10 Celebration

This includes crew member Steve, composing a brand new celebration for any player in the world to perform. The celebration is usually based on current event/s in the news or mimicking a famous person and their trademark pose/s. The first professional player in the Premier League or The Football Leagues (usually the lower leagues) to score their goal and celebrate exactly like or vaguely like Steve on the show will win the £10 prize money. If nobody uses the celebration then the £10 is rolled over to the next week. One of Steve's celebrations was a team photo (first of all score your goal, then get a few of your team mates, get 'em round you, lovely picture!). He previously made a £10 bet with Tubes that nobody would do his celebration that week so he picked one he thought nobody would do. During the following show, Steve was forced to give Tubes £10. Towards the end there was a parody of this when comedian Paddy McGuinness went on the show and for one time only and created Paddy's £10 Celebration. It was won by Carlisle's Gary Madine. Steven Gerrard's "kiss the camera" celebration in a 4-1 win over Manchester United in 2009 was Steve's £10 challenge.

Prediction Time

In this part of the show former footballer and current Sky Sports pundit Chris Kamara goes head to head with Mystic Ed, a horse that Soccer AM insist is magic and can predict the scores. Each week, Kammy and Mystic Ed must predict the score of a live game, usually from the Premier League.

Itso Facto

This is simply random facts about a certain aspect of football (e.g. managers, injuries, the South Wales derby) narrated by crew member Trev. The different volumes of facts are organised with Roman Numerals e.g. 'El Classico, Volume IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII..........'. In typical Soccer AM fashion nothing is taken seriously and the last fact on Trev's list of facts is arguable, biased, or funny (e.g. 'What is the worst injury in football? The one the Irish'll give Thierry Henry when they get their hands on him!').

Our Man In A Caff

This sketch involves crew member Trev, dressing up in a builders outfit, sitting in a café and reading the newspaper (presumably tabloid) and giving us his account of recent events in football and footballers all over the world, in a parody of James Richardson from Football Italia. This is a skit on the typical lazy English builder, having lunch in a café. As Trev rambles on about one of his views on football, images related to the word or subject he's on at that moment appear on the TV (e.g. when David Beckham is mentioned a snapshot of David appears for that split second or two, when the word scouser is mentioned, a picture if Steven Gerrard flashes onscreen). Just before Trev is about to swear, the waitress arrives and gives him his tea, he replies with 'Cheers mush' and sips his tea. Our Man In A Caff ends with Trev signing out with 'Over an Out' plus an added sign off from somebody or from somewhere (e.g. Over and Out or as my son would say, 'I'm not gonna turn out like you, am I?')

I'm an A League Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here

This weekly sketch involves two crew members playing the part of Ant and Dec in Australia as if presenting the ITV show I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here, who introduce football clips from Australia's A-League, typically featuring former Premier League star Robbie Fowler, accompanied by a parody Australian commentary. While the football clip is playing, a guest attempts a "bushtucker trial" trying to find a star in "Georgie Thompson's box", a cardboard box with a picture of said Sky Sports News presenter on the front and shown to contain some form of unpleasant creature, a task at which the guest always fails. The end of the sketch generally sees "Ant" hit in the eyes by some kind of object or substance and shouting "I'm blind, Dec!", a reference to a scene from the teenage drama Byker Grove in which the real-life Ant and Dec first found fame.

Current comedy features

Current, and former performing crew members include "Fenners" (John Fendley), "Sheephead" (Joe Worsley), "Tubes" (Peter Dale), "Rocket" (James Long), Neil (Smythe), Robbie Knox (TRAMP! is sung every time he is mentioned to the tune of The Champ by The Mohawks), Jon Dyson, Chris Nutbeam and newest member Steve Sutcliffe.

Tubes

Crew member "Tubes" (Peter Dale[4]) has had a regular feature on the show, where he has "one question and one question only" to one of the studio guests. Max asks "Who is your question for this week", and the answer results in a dimming of the studio lights and a spotlight on the questionee. After the question has been asked Tubes goes to shake the questionees hand thanking them as he does. Tubes' popularity has grown significantly - a public vote saw him being voted more popular than (crew member) Rocket - in part due to his woeful (but comic) rapping ability which he demonstrates every week before actually posing a question, his ability to keep a "straight" face is also one of his main attributes. Due to his weekly binge drinking exploits, Tim Lovejoy called for pub landlords across the country to ban Tubes from their establishments for his own good. Tubes' rapping has also been used in a parody of iTunes, where at the end instead of saying "iTunes", it says "iTubes". Some Of Tubes' Catchphrases include "Sickening" "Sick" and "Sickness".

A VHS video from 2000 was recently broadcast showing Tubes, dressed as a sailor, dancing on stage to the Y.M.C.A. (song)YMCA song.

The Dance-Off

Each year, the Soccer AM Dance-Off is held which is a dancing competition usually involving all crew members. The crew have 15 seconds each to dance before the next contestant goes on, and each dance usually receives good natured laughing and booing from the audience.

It is usually held on the second Saturday in January each year, and viewers at home are encouraged to vote for who they thought was the best by texting in. However, they can also vote for "Don't care". The 2007 Dance-Off winner was Rocket, the 3rd time he has won the competition. In 2008 Trev won the competition despite being a 33/1 shot. Helen asked him how he felt about winning, he replied "It's alright I suppose." 2009 saw Rocket take the crown for the fourth time, however this win is debatable as Rocket used a prop (wheelies) during his performance. However, he was allowed to remain as champion in exchange for him 'Taking One For The Team' the following week, with all the losing participants taking a shot. In 2010 Lisa became the first female contestant to claim the crown, with Max Rushden suggesting that she 'used her assets' well. Despite being the favourite, Baby Elvis did not even make the top three.

In the 2014 dance off, there was huge controversy in the form of "Bean Gate". Frankie Fryer (Baby Elvis, Adam Smith) had his sound man (Tom Jeffs) pour a bowl of baked beans over his head during his 15-second dance. This resulted in the floor becoming extremely slippery and causing some of the following dancers not being able to perform as they were falling over. One of these members was the public dancer Lee Woods. He was the first member of the public to be involved in the dance off as he won the public vote to perform and was one of the favourites to win. He came runner up and in the results said that "He would have done it" and "quietly confident" if there was no beans of the floor. In the next show of Soccer Am following "Bean Gate", a [5] Sky Sports News Report was showing Frankie Fryer making a statement saying "watching a big geezer in a too-too slip on beans on three separate occasions was actually proper comical" and "I have been given the sentence of Take one for the Team on the grounds that Little Rocket for attempting to bribe the views of the false promise of getting on his nut if he won". Frankie claims Rocket (who won the 2014 dance off for a record 6th time) tweeted that he would get a tattoo if he won, a promise that he had not delivered. At the punishment, Max asked Frankie if he ruined football. Frankie gave a full apology to the viewers before taking his punishment. Rocket said that he would get a tattoo in the nest week and so did not have to take one for the team. And staying to his word,[6] Rocket did get a tattoo for winning the dance off. Frankie took one for the team from all the guests and all the Soccer AM crew who were effected after the "Bean Gate" incident. Tubes was the only member of the crew to hit Frankie Fryer. "Bean Gate" was trending on Twitter for 4 days as a result of the major controversy at the 2014 Soccer AM Dance Off and is still the biggest controversy ever to occur on Soccer AM.

The 2015 Dance Off saw the return of the original rules because of the "Bean Gate" incident of the 2014 Dance Off. These rules were no novelty dancing, no props, no special guests (including the members of the Luther Blissett Stand) and no costumes. The rule of dancing for a full 15 seconds was already in use and had not been taken away from the past years. But this dance off still had its own controversy which caused no result to be reached for the winner of the Dance Off. After all the crew members had performed (who all followed the rules) the online voting opened for the viewers to vote for their Favourite. But only after 7 votes had been made, the whole of the voting system crashed meaning that no one could cast their vote. This caused errors such as voting for "Rocket" brought up a message saying "You have already voted for Dev". The soccer Am Twitter account quickly sent a message saying "PLS STOP VOTING - WE HAVE A PROBLEM - DETAILS SHORTLY". Max and Helen soon explained what had happened to the viewers and gave them a choice over Twitter so what happened next. It read "Dance Off next week! Would you like to see it live all over again or a replay of today? RT for see it again. FAV for a replay. #DanceOff2015". The result was that 6000 to 1000 people wanted to see the Dance Off LIVE again the following week and not just a replay of the original dancing. Sky Bet offered people refunds on any bets they had placed on the Soccer Am dance off but also said that any bets which had been placed will stand to the following week. This is the first every time in 15 years that the Dance Off has had to go to a 2nd week to get a winner.

Soccer AM Dance-Off Roll Of Honour:

Take One For The Team

Take One For The Team is another new feature added to the show this season and takes place in the Soccer AM car park. Every time someone in the office, usually a crew member will have to let three other member of the crew kick a football at their backside. This occurs when one of the crew members makes a mistake. Rocket, Graham, Tubes, Jimi, Phil V and Dave all faced it last season and Tubes has faced again it this season. Tubes has the record amount of hits as he has hit 2 out of 3 shots.(Graham and Dave). On 9 January 2009, Rocket was forced to take one for the team but with every crew member getting a shot. Only Chris and Simon managed to hit the target. In one episode Max Rushden had to "Take One For The Team" having previously suggested that Stevie Wonder call in if he's watching.

Big Tackle

The Big Tackle feature was added to the line-up in the 2008–09 season to celebrate the art of the "Big Tackle". The feature begins with the phrase "Big Tackle, sponsored by Claude Makélélé", said in a French accent.

MMS Clips

This is the part of the show when the members of the public send in their videos from their mobile phones of them and their mates doing something stupid and funny.

Frankie Fryer's Away Days

This is a feature on the show where Frankie Fryer travels to different grounds in the UK and occasionally Europe and informs viewers in a comical way of what attractions there are in the town/city. He has catchphrases such as "proper nutty", and when he gets to the away end of the ground he talks rapidly so it is impossible to understand what he is saying. When he enters the stadium, he says "Oh I do love playing away" before bursting into a chant.

Former comedy features

Following Tim Lovejoy's departure, several of the crew members including "Fenners" (John Fendley), "Sheephead" and Robbie Knox also departed, which meant the end of some of the features of the show.

Small Talk

In Small Talk, Rocket and Arrogant Baby Elvis go around the streets of a chosen British town and asks a question related to a current event in the Football world e.g. in the episode from 13 September 2008, Baby Elvis asked people in Doncaster how they keep fit, following reports of Dimitar Berbatov being on an intensive fitness programme after his recent move to Manchester United.

Big Stan Hibbert

His catchphrase was "I'm Here All Week".[7]

Norman Whiteside

Following the end of the "Big Stan Hibbert" feature, the week's joke was provided for the following season by former Northern Ireland, Manchester United and Everton player, Norman Whiteside, who is filmed in a pre-recorded sketch.

Topless Weather

A topless man reads the weather, with frequent references to gravy.[7]

Yorkshire News

Allegedly separate from the show itself, Tim announces that "It's time for the news from your region." Regardless where you are (or so it seems), "Yorkshire News" appears on the screen, anchored by "Yorkshireman" Geoffrey Trueman (Dyson). This name is taken from the names of legendary Yorkshire cricketers Geoffrey Boycott and Fred Trueman. Latterly, however, the 'regional' news was styled from Manchester. The headline story involves "yet another example that change is not good. The concept of change is almost certainly a gag at political correctness, and is usually blamed on "those la de da London-types" from the South. "Change" has come in the form of female employment, foreign cuisine, men dancing, and non-beer beverages, amongst others. A highlight of this feature was when a reporter went to Blackpool to question whether Bradford City striker Dean Windass had 'lost his bottle' after a poor run of performances- an 'irate' Windass charged at the reporter, tearing his own shirt off in the process. Another famous moment occurred when the topic of YouTube was mentioned.

Ending the news with "S'thee later", Soccer AM reappears with Helen saying "Welcome back to Soccer AM!"

On 3 February 2007 edition of the show, Yorkshire News was replaced by "Manchester News" with the people of Manchester being asked what they thought of the new supercasino being built there. This led to an apology by Tim as apparently the Yorkshire region got the wrong regional news.

Amongst other fictional trivia, Yorkshire News has reported on:

The interviewees on Yorkshire news are invariably working class northern streotypes.

Barry

Soccer AM's own little sitcom stars Barry Proudfoot (actually Fenners) as Barry, Pugsy as Pugsy, and Vikki as Vikki The Barmaid. Set at The Wheatsheaf pub in Perivale, Barry dresses in green seventies-style tracksuits and aviator sunglasses, and is known for his hatred of Northerners, and catchphrases "Oooh that's a right touch!" and "He's taking some right liberties". Some famous faces have appeared on this section of the show as well, including Tim, actor Tamer Hassan, West Ham fan Perry Fenwick (Billy Mitchell from EastEnders) and the band The Rifles. "Two-Hits" and "Bob the Glare" have also appeared on a few occasions as "bouncers" and in one episode brought out their own DVD.

Barry also appeared in a Paddy McGuinness stand up. McGuiness asked Barry to come on stage and tell a few jokes to his audience, composed mostly of "Northerners". Instead of telling "tasteful" jokes to the audience, Barry started telling jokes that would be offensive to "Northerners" and got booed off-stage.

Recently Barry has been on a Soccer AM edition of Partner Swap, (take of Wife Swap), where he was partnered up with Theresa O'Sullivan. After constantly making jokes about Teresa being Mother Theresa, Theresa confronted him, pleading him that there be no more of those jokes. Having been asked this, Barry said there would be none - (nun). That is a right touch.

CCTV

Coventry City TV is inspired by the television channels of several of the larger clubs in British football. Set in the 1986/87 season, the fictitious channel brings us features which resemble Closed-Circuit TeleVision of funny and unusual behaviour. Usual topics of conversation include whether Keith Houchen should be selected by boss John Sillett, and that the club should never leave Highfield Road (which has of course happened with the move to the Ricoh Arena)

The channel is presented by Paul Gardner (Fenners) and Brian Kildare (Sheephead). The two presenters also ask every guest whether they have a 'genuine Coventry accent' and not a "Cod Birmingham" accent.

Dragons' Den

Introduced in the 2006-07 season Soccer AM have done their version of the BBC Two programme Dragons' Den. Basically every week Sheephead shows the Dragons an invention which already exists. For example, he recently showed them crisps where you put the salt on them yourself although this already had been done. One of the Dragons tells him "It's already been done"; he then responds by saying "Oh has it! Oh, I'll be back. You'll see!"

Book Reconstructions

When a guest(s) or someone they talk to on the phone has written a book, Tim Lovejoy used announce, "I can't read very well, and neither can Helen or any of the crew, but Neil's a good reader, so we had him reconstruct the best bits", which Neil duly did, often exaggerating for comic effect. So far he has reconstructed scenes from the books written by footballer John Hartson, millionaire businessman and TV personality Duncan Bannatyne and Natalie Appleton and Nicole Appleton, ex-Liverpool and Real Madrid star Steve McManaman and horse racing jockey Frankie Dettori to hilarious consequences.

Other features

Soccer AM webcam

A new addition to the show, introduced in the start of the 10th season, is the Soccer AM Webcam. Refreshing every 5 seconds, it gave viewers the opportunity to view a live feed from the Soccer AM Office. Due to popular demand, it was later upgraded to refreshing every 3 seconds. The webcam soon gained its own feature on the show - a soap picking out the best behind-the-scenes moments from the office, and concluding with a cliffhanger of a will he-won't he. The webcam broke in between seasons in the summer of 2006, but at the start of the following season the team announced that a new webcam had been installed with improved pictures as well as the ability for the team to zoom in on certain aspects of the office.

The Ten-Yard Bucket Challenge

Borne out of the link between professional footballers and golf, "The Ten-Yard Bucket Challenge" sees a professional footballer attempting to chip a golf ball into a bucket from a distance of ten yards. The football-golf link exists due mainly to the amount of free time footballers are allowed in the daytime after training sessions, and Soccer AM's homage to golf involves a single personality from the world of football who attempts the challenge. One notable attempt was from Ryan Taylor, then of Tranmere Rovers, now of Newcastle United, who was not featuring in the challenge that week, but was accompanying team-mate Jason McAteer. While cameras happened to be rolling, he had a go and accomplished the feat in a single attempt (Taylor is also one of an elite few to hit the crossbar in the "Crossbar Challenge", and reportedly hit it in his practice attempt as well). Many overconfident amateurs have been known to run tallies of well over a hundred attempts. The background music to the challenge is "Ladyflash" by The Go! Team.

Soccer AM Bullseye Challenge

A part of the show where two players from a club compete to see who can hit the bullseye of a dart board first. The current holder with only two throws is Emannuel Eboue whilst he was playing for Arsenal. Fraizer Campbell and Bolton manager Owen Coyle are second with three. Phil Taylor hit with only one but seeing as he is a darts player and not a footballer, his record does not fully count. This appeared when more and more pro's appeared to start liking darts more than golf, thus replacing the ten yard bucket challenge.

Achievements

As its audience share grew, its influence grew in turn. Some of the show's notable influences have included:

The "Easy" logo from the male T-shirt

Other content

Another memorable aspect to the show was in 2000 when Tim started to tell the same gag every week. The gag revolved around steak and kidney pies, and the gag would normally see Tim and Helen discuss what they'd eaten. Invariably, Tim would announce that he'd had a "steak and kidley" pie, to which Helen enquired: "Don't you mean steak and kidney?" Tim would then reply "That's what I said did'll I". This running gag ran and ran, to the point where even fanzone commentators performed the gag. Following on from one such occurrence, Tim pleaded with Martin Tyler and Andy Gray to do the gag during a live game.

Another recurring gag is when someone with the surname "O'Leary" or "Riley" is involved. For example, Helen once announced that Dermot O'Leary was on the current show and would be talking about his role as Big Brother's Little Brother presenter. Tim then asks "Oh really?", to which Helen reluctantly replies "... no, O'Leary". This is clearly a pre-determined gag judging by Tim's reaction which gains much laughter when done.

Lovejoy actually had a few ongoing gags back in the day including famous one liners as "Is it a record?" "Oi fish head!" "Double sweet double douvet!"

MMS Clips

One of the most popular mobile phone clips, sent in by Soccer AM viewers, is Crazy Dave. Crazy Dave is a young tractor driver who chooses to over take his Dad, driving another tractor, on a narrow strip of road - with hilarious consequences. He has many phrases which have achieved cult status amongst Soccer AM fans such as "but yeah, YEAH, I do fancy it, big time!" and "He's gonna have my f***ing pants down!". His antics have been parodied by many people which have also been shown on the mobile phone clip section of the show. One of the most notorious MMS clips was David Bentley kicking a ball from a balcony office and getting it into a skip.

Football League Trophy Play Your Cards Right

For the past few seasons, Soccer AM has had the privilege of being able to draw fixtures for each round of the Football League Trophy (formerly known as the LDV Vans Trophy, it is now called the Johnstone's Paint Trophy).

This is normally done - in the style of British gameshow Play Your Cards Right - by Max & Helen cutting oversized cards onto large holders, and turning them over one at a time to generate football matches, with Max normally drawing the Home teams first, and Helen drawing the Away sides. This process is overseen by independent adjudicator from the Football League Stuart Trigwell, now known to Soccer AM as 'face', ridiculing a column in the Daily Mail referring to him as the 'Face of The Football League'. As well as being a minor celebrity around the Clapham South area Stuart Trigwell is also an exceptional darts player and once beat Peter 'One Dart' Manley, receiving a signed photo for his efforts.

The fans of the week are usually from a club that is in the draw.

Strangely, before the quarter final draw, Peterborough United fans were asked who they would least like to draw, to which they replied Bristol Rovers. The resulting draw then gave them an away game, at...Bristol Rovers, which made the Peterborough fans boo Tim and Helen for their poor fixture making.

DVDs and music

In November 2004, Soccer AM released a DVD, which became a success, mostly down to being the ideal Christmas gift for men. Since this date, more DVDs have been released. The 2005 edition self-titled, Soccer AM II included the 10 greatest players of the last decade, which included David Beckham, Ronaldinho and Alan Shearer. In June 2006, Soccer AM went musical by releasing a CD with music they use on the show with such bands as Hard-Fi, The Automatic and The Ordinary Boys. Later that year another DVD was released titled, Soccer AM III - the Greatest Matches of All Time which included a selection of 1982 World Cup games, 1979–1981 and 2006 FA Cup Finals.

In 2009 the fourth DVD called Soccer AM IIII - The Greatest Team in the World was released. This featured going through the best players in the world at the moment in a fantasty dream team. This DVD was the first DVD with Max Rushden.

The Soccer AM Stadium

In July 2014, Soccer AM announced a partnership with non-league Basingstoke Town F.C.. The club's Camrose Stadium was renamed 'The Soccer AM Stadium' as part of the partnership – with the club featuring regularly on the show. "Soccer AM" producer, Rob Wakeling said "We’re really pleased to be supporting Basingstoke Town FC from now on – and we’ve got some very exciting things planned over the coming season". The presenters now also appear from time to time in the Basingstoke lineup.

See also

References

  1. ↑ Sky's Soccer AM secures FRijj sponsorship Digital Spy
  2. ↑ "DS Forum". Retrieved 26 September 2015.
  3. ↑ Socceram.com
  4. ↑ Tubes profile
  5. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DT29-LU4FO8
  6. ↑ http://www1.skysports.com/watch/video/tv-shows/soccer-am/archive/latest-videos/9132672/rocket-gets-inked
  7. 1 2 Martin Kelner (8 November 2004). "Bouncebackability gives young ones the edge". Guardian. Retrieved 21 December 2012.
Look up bouncebackability in Wiktionary, the free dictionary.
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